Psalm 23- the Good Shepherd

Psalm 23- the Lord is my Shepherd, one of the most recited Psalms in the bible was the first one I learned. It was rote learning. I did not know what This Psalm took a centre stage in my life from the end of 2000 into 2001. My whole world was crumbling as I faced the reality of my mother’s 26 years of sickness which left her crippled plus the other problems that followed.

Too much to bear– Mum’s Painful life: in the first five years of her sickness, she lost three children. This shattered her. To add insult to injury, the years that followed she had to deal with the realities of unrealized dreams for her children. Some turned alcoholics, education, early pregnancy etc. The final blow came in 1999 February when she lost her sixth born and second daughter, Sarah. She surrendered to Him who gives and takes away. At that my world crumbled as I could not bear her pain.

Contagious pain: I had watched mum before and shed so many tears, but this was too much for me to handle. While she suffered physically, I suffered emotionally. I lifted my eyes to this God I have loved and believed in; the Omnipotent He is, and wondered why He could not make mum’s burden lighter! In addition to her condition, I did not have a steady job so taking care of her plus other responsibilities were too much to bear. I turned to what could make sense of Psalm 23, but alas!

Psalm 23 re-written: When Psalm 23 ceases to hold the value and freshness that emanates from it, that is a real quagmire, and indeed it was for me. I opened the good book but my usual psalm seemed to have been replaced by another! It was rewritten in my reality and so I mourned: ‘The Lord is my shepherd but I am in want He makes me lie down in pastures green- nay, mine are overgrown! He leads me beside quiet waters- nay mine are raging! He restores my soul- that is not my reality, my inner-man retorted!

The Sweet Holy Spirit intervenes: I knew I needed divine intervention to hold it together. This is when the Sweet Holy Spirit showed up in a special way. What fellowship divine it was! He walked me through those tough months before and after mum’s death and always reminded me that the Lord is my Shepherd, my Jehovah ROHI, I shall not be in want because all I have needed the Lord is. Months later, on 21 June 2001 mum breathed her last and I had my special moment with the Holy Spirit as he unveiled to me some mysteries, and answered prayers I had not been aware of.

Two important messages He shared: THE LORD IS HOLY: Had I perceived Him differently as I sought answers? Heaven knows, but the Holy Spirit had to remind me of that. He is holy and not any likeness of sin can be mentioned in Him. That sunk and I repented in ashes and dust and fled from His presence. He is holy!

IAM, revealed: Secondly, the Lord told me, ‘I the LORD, I AM’. I had told God that it hurt to know that He is the Omnipotent and had all power to ease mum’s burden but had not. I told God that it hurt to know that He is ABLE but not WILLING. Mum had such faith that she could refer people to church to be prayed for. Whoever came with a problem, mum would say ‘go to church the God of the born again answers prayers. Witchdoctors to not work, she would add. Yet for her, this very God never healed her. The reality that He WAS ABLE but not WILLLING hurt like gangrene- Matthew 8: 3. There are instances when Jesus would say ‘I am willing be made whole’. I longed for that but never and it consumed me. But the Lord told me, ‘all the time your mother has been, I the LORD, IAM. Stop defining me by what I do because before I did any other that, I the LORD, IAM. I repented in ashes and dust.

Jehovah ROHI: Today I celebrate the good Shepherd with uttermost confidence, that I shall not want. Are you troubled, downtrodden or broken-hearted, I present to you One whom I walked with and proved that He is faithful and true, Jehovah ROHI is His name. Embrace Him, He is waiting.